I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
