im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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