i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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