Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
