Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
