you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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