I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize