I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish I only lived at night.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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