So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
