is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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