I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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