that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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