Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
