My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
