Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize