She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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