I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
