I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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