If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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