I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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