I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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