oh god the rape fog is back!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
