my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
