i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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