Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
