we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize