Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
