all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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