She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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