Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
