I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
