you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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