Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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