And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
