I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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