My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
