it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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