this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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