I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
