Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
