i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
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I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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