So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
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margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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