we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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