how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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