i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
