Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
