I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
