My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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