hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
