You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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