I'm going to jail i love you
i just wanna soil my oats bro
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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