its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
