Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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