So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
