it hurts more in the daytime
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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