I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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