so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
