Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
