I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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