just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
