Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
