I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
