Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
