There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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