So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
if only i could text you this smell
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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