Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
