Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
