I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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