She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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